We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
