Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
pop tarts are not kleenex
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
