So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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