he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
