That's intense
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
