Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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