hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
