I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm at about main and main street
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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