Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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