dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
