just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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