I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
