This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize