grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
as a side note pls kill me
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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