I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
