Fuck appropriateness.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
