So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
