i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
