I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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