i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize