RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
