It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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