at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
dude. I can hear the air.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
