Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
