the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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