Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize