I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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