just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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