Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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