you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
