Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
