The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
