so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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