well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
