Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
