I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
