she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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