Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
