Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
