Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Randomize
