i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
