I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Randomize
