dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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