I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
