Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
