I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize