I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So here I am, sexting at work.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
