they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
