you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
