He is an equal opportunity slut.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
