He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just had sex bonerless
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
