i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so let's talk penis.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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