I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
