Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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