when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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