Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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