I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
