He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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