Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We are all done wearing pants today
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
