i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
