she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
