3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
