It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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